Made in Milan

Fall, A.D. 384

Met a great man named Symmachus, prefect of Rome, just this fall. Some Manichaean friends introduced us. My lucky break, because he needed to find someone to fill the chair of Rhetoric for the Emperor's court in Milan. So I'm on my way to what is arguably the most prestigious academic chair in the Latin world.

I should be very happy--and I am. But something still nags at me. I hope Milan is everything I want it to be, I hope it sets me on the track to happiness. I hope it doesn't disappoint like Rome did. Rome was supposed to be the greatest place on the face of the earth. For a country boy from North Africa, I imagined Roman youths would be the best and brightest. But I found my students dull and unmotivated, and when it was time for them to pay their fees, they went on vacation.

And Rome is not the only gold that does not glitter. I'm losing my faith in the great Manichaean religion too. I know that many rich and famous hold to the teachings of Mani, and I have too. But I met a famous Manichaean in Carthage, before I sailed for Rome, and I talked with him for hours. He was very disappointing. Is this the best they can do?

In Rome I have met many sceptics, members of the New Academy. They are bright enough, but they too disappoint. I wonder if every philosophy lets us down in the end? I wonder if there are any leaders who impress more once you get to know them? My mother and others want me to meet a certain Ambrose in Milan--a teacher of rhetoric and a Christian. He'll probably let me down like the rest of these famous philosophers.